do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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