he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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