I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
