Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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