Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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