you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
