My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
