Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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