My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Randomize
