hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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