i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
