Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
