There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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