I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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