Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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