she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
