another moral hangover. fuck.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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