hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
