How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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