call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
