hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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