i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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