i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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