I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I need a burrito and a hug.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize