Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
