I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize