he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
