hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
This baby is an asshole
Boobs are out for the taking
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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