"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
