I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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