Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
