you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
