Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Come see our sink grown plant.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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