so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
