I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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