But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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