wat bout pragnant strippers??
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
