you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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