he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
