Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
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Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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