after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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