I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
