it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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