too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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