brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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