You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
