Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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