I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
