how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
