the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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