don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
