Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize