how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
