I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.