That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize