the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
