Don't you send me to vm
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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