it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
