let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
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