When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
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the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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