Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
