Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
