sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
