i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
