Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Randomize
